Tah-tah for the time being...

I thought I might get a chance to do another post before I leave for my vacation, but it looks like my time is up. I'm actually leaving my computer at home until I get back!

I will be home again on the 1st of October, so I'll be back to the beautiful world of blogging soon after.

XXX,

Stepherz

Someone hold me...

...I'm scared. Normally I don't get a kick out of making fun of the way a person looks because, obviously, I have a teensy bit more depth than that. Come on. My momma taught me that it wasn't nice to stare. But there are a few exceptions I allow myself: Victoria Beckwad and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

But GeezeFarginLouise. What the heck are you supposed to do? This woman is crazy looking, and I don't care which commandments I broke saying it. I feel better making a bit of light out of this knowing that this crazy cat actually spent MONEY doing this to herself. If it were a birth defect, I'd do the whole, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor gal." But this crazy bitch spent 4 million dollars to scare the shit out of me. And I'm taking that shit personal!

I mean, aren't there hungry children somewhere? A church in the deep south that needs painting? An elderly woman who needs her furnace fixed? Four Million Dollars, Y'all! What kind of good could you do with that kind of money? And that 4 mill was just a Farmer John in the wind for her compared to the money she has sitting in savings. Jocelyn. Woman? Do something good with your money, Girlfriend. Buy me a Coach purse or something.

I'm going to pull 4 million out of my back pocket right now to hire a criminal to hot glue a freddie krueger mask on her ass. You can thank me for saving the planet later.




Homegranny has a nice body though. BaM! Go on with your bad self, Jocelyn. Go right on over to Coach.com and buy me that extra large Zoe in cream and the Delphine Python.

Bitch Please

I got the biggest kick out of seeing these two hos hamming it up for the cameras at Fashion Week. Are they for real? I'm glad they don't know how ridiculous they look, otherwise we wouldn't get such a "mayja" laugh.

Doesn't JLo know she shouldn't sit next to that skinny ass twit? I mean, I wouldn't sit next to her! Not only does she make everyone within 5 miles of her look fat, but can you imagine how bad those chocolate frappachino enema farts smell? She doesn't eat through her mouth, ya know, cause eating through your mouth means weight gain. Better out than in, I always say.

Doesn't lil miss prissy pants look likes she's needing a "mayja" passing of air? She needs something. A meatloaf sandwich, some weave, and a good roll in the hay with that boy toy of hers.

If Victoria smiled, that frigid face of hers would crack right off and a piece of it might fly into JLo's eye. Now that would start a fight I'd pay my husband's whole paycheck to see. Two crazy ass frigid fake has been hos dukin' it out at Fashion Week! Nevermind the runways, let's get some boxing rings up in that bitch.

I know who dressed me...

Lindsay has a cute sense of style, I think. She has got one of those figures that can do no wrong-- voluptuous and fit. I like her as much dressed up as down and she's definitely one of my favorite celebrities right now.

To be honest, I wouldn't have paired anything blue with denim. Red, yes. But I've never thought to do blue. But BAM! Lindsay did it and did it well. She's one of Hollywood's Best Dressed, so I trust her.

Here's a cheap(er) version of Lindsay's sexy little denim dress with electric blue heels...

Mudshark Streetwear denim dress for $127.00 (eep! not so thrifty but oh so sexy)

The shoes are SUPER thrifty though, so you can justify the dress...

$21.80 at Forever21.com

Leighton Meester

Leighton Meester wore this sexy little Fendi dress to the Entourage premiere. We won't even talk about the price tag on that bad boy.

She's such a gorgeous, feminine lady that I think she could pull off a burlap sack. But we'll never know what she looks like in the sack, will we? She's just not the sex tape scandal kind of girl. Go on with your bad self, Leighton. Leave a little something for our imaginations...



Bubble Dress: Pinkice.com for $27.99


Snake Criss Cross Heel: GoJane.com for $23.99

Shut Up Beyonce

It never fails to amuse me when a celebrity opens their mouth. Can't they just be cute and quiet at the same time? Normally they say something that makes me even more happy to be me. Perhaps we'll never have their money, but they could never have our depth or grasp of reality. Beyonce recently went and ruined it for me with her recent comments in Marie Claire...

"There is a time limit on being a pop star, yes. Being a legend, an icon? Absolutely not. I’m over being a pop star. I don’t wanna be a hot girl. I wanna be iconic. And I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot. I feel like I’m highly respected, which is more important than any award or any amount of records. And I feel like there comes a point when being a pop star is not enough."

Huhhhh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Beyonce,

I don't know what you think you've done to change the world, or add to it, but you haven't fooled me. And you like yourself enough that you don't need the rest of us. But "iconic" or "legendary?" Pahhhh-lease, Homegirl. You can't even make it through a photo shoot without some serious thigh cropping. Girl, if you could spend half as much time feeding a child in Ethiopia with your own jeweled fingers as you do chomping on a fried chicken wing, maybe I'll take you seriously, perhaps even consider you "legendary"... Until then, Shut the hell up.

Love,

Momma Magpie

Silvery Goddess

ASOS.com helps you "scream sex" for a few dollars: $54.88 for this lovely number.

I'm going to ignore what the celebrities are wearing for the moment because I don't need their lead (and neither do you, My Friend) when it comes to finding sexy clothing. It doesn't matter if you're a an sexy apron wearing mom, a long legged executive, or a full time diva, there's some part of you that needs a sex appeal for those hours off. Here's something to get those creative, sexy fashionista juices flowing. If nothing else, wear it for your Sex God or Goddess around the house and see if he/she doesn't notice. I'm betting he or she will...

Pair it with the right shoes ($22.99 at GoJane.com) and some jewels (search "rosary" on eBay-- this one is only $7.00 with shipping).




This rosary appears gold in the picture, but it's silver...



How about some chunky yet feminine wrist wear? Here's a pretty number from a fabulous Etsy artist, Rafreiart, for only $7.00.

Upped You, Heigl

Katherine Heigl had a cute little outfit while doing errands the other day. But I think we can do it better and cheaper, if not a little dressier for a night out on the town. I borrowed the look of her top and jeans and paired them with some strappy silver heels and some gorgeous jewelry.

Jeans: $25 at OldNavy.com
Top: $17.95 at Heavenly Couture
Earrings & necklace set: $35 at LuxeDeluxe on Etsy
Heels: $21.99 at GoJane.com

One gorgeous little outfit for less than $100.

A little secret...

I'm going to tell you about a little place I like to shop that has killer deals. If you're an outlet shopper, you'll love this...

Today I visited MJRSales on ebay. They have all the Victoria's Secret markdowns you could want-- bathingsuits, sweaters, jeans, nighties, and workout clothing. What's more, you get the bid starting at .99! I know a lot of sellers on ebay start at .99, but at MJRSales, I got almost all the things I bid on with no competition from other buyers. These are last season's clothes, but that doesn't matter when we're talking about nice, high end clothes that are timeless! Some of the items have minor flaws, some are like brand new.

Here's what I bought...

A little something for winter... Will look amazing with some skinny jeans, a tank, and some heels, no?



A little something for my Tampa trip...



I got the sweater for $4.75 and the bikini top and bottom were .99 each. These items would have been about $100 total back in the Spring!

Yes, I'm proud of my smart buys. Are you clicking on that link I gave you yet?