Prissy Puffy Princess Pants

Puff Daddy... P Diddy... Puffy... Fagboy... Whoever the hell you are... You scare me. I mean, not because you look like you have been slapped up side the head by a Down's Syndrome stick but because DUDE!? What is wrong with you? You need to be knocked up side the head with a humble stick. You're not cute. And I'm TOTALLY on Team Tupac.

Where is PETA when you need them? THIS... is not fake fur. When he isn't bitching about the price of gas forcing him to ride in his private jet less, he is wearing massive, expensive dead animals. Some guy.



And when he isn't wearing the massive dead animal draped over his body, he is draping his naked toddler daughters over it to pose for pictures... All the while he is looking quite proud of himself. Celebrity Yuck.

Someone staple that dead critter to his perfectly coiffed head. Please? Better yet, let's see his prissy ass in a cage with a relative of that Bear he's wearing.

Put some clothes on, girlfriend...

I really have to say that it makes me uncomfortable to be nasty about someone I know absolutely nothing about. But, since this is a celeb gossip/fashion site, I've been given automatic forgiveness for cattiness.



I know this is old news, but seriously... How could she not know that her frankentit was hanging out for the whole world to see? Tara, get some press for doing something outstanding. Feed a hungry child... save a rainforest... flash those ugly boobies at a lonely homeless man... do something worthwhile.

I just don't get her. What exactly has she done to deserve press? She isn't talented. She isn't especially smart, witty, cute, or fun to look at. She gets press for walking around in bathing suits, drinking, and sucking up oxygen. Paps, we get it: She's had botched surgery and she spends too much time in the sun. Next?

I've missed you

I've been gone for awhile, and I've missed ya. And you've missed me too, eh? You bettah!

I only get a vacation once every blue moon, so I won't be breaking off like that too often.

Now, where were we?

I went to some pretty rockin' shops in Tampa while on vacation, and besides that I had a love affair with some Coach handbags at the Coach store, I did fall in love and now pledge some allegiance to a store I'd never met: Charlotte Russe. Talk about affordable, hip, and well made... I'm head over heels. If you live in a big city, you're laughing at me because you already knew the trendy sexy that Charlotte Russe is. But if you're a small town frugal fashinionista like myself-- go check out the site, or the store if you're lucky enough to have one near you. While you're there, make sure you remember that Christmas is nearly 2 months away and I want these, and those sexy red shoes above if I'm not pushing my luck too much:


Better yet, just go buy yourself something, My Magpie Friend, and then stop back back by to rub it in my face.

Tah-tah for the time being...

I thought I might get a chance to do another post before I leave for my vacation, but it looks like my time is up. I'm actually leaving my computer at home until I get back!

I will be home again on the 1st of October, so I'll be back to the beautiful world of blogging soon after.

XXX,

Stepherz

Someone hold me...

...I'm scared. Normally I don't get a kick out of making fun of the way a person looks because, obviously, I have a teensy bit more depth than that. Come on. My momma taught me that it wasn't nice to stare. But there are a few exceptions I allow myself: Victoria Beckwad and Jocelyn Wildenstein.

But GeezeFarginLouise. What the heck are you supposed to do? This woman is crazy looking, and I don't care which commandments I broke saying it. I feel better making a bit of light out of this knowing that this crazy cat actually spent MONEY doing this to herself. If it were a birth defect, I'd do the whole, "Tsk, tsk, tsk. Poor gal." But this crazy bitch spent 4 million dollars to scare the shit out of me. And I'm taking that shit personal!

I mean, aren't there hungry children somewhere? A church in the deep south that needs painting? An elderly woman who needs her furnace fixed? Four Million Dollars, Y'all! What kind of good could you do with that kind of money? And that 4 mill was just a Farmer John in the wind for her compared to the money she has sitting in savings. Jocelyn. Woman? Do something good with your money, Girlfriend. Buy me a Coach purse or something.

I'm going to pull 4 million out of my back pocket right now to hire a criminal to hot glue a freddie krueger mask on her ass. You can thank me for saving the planet later.




Homegranny has a nice body though. BaM! Go on with your bad self, Jocelyn. Go right on over to Coach.com and buy me that extra large Zoe in cream and the Delphine Python.

Bitch Please

I got the biggest kick out of seeing these two hos hamming it up for the cameras at Fashion Week. Are they for real? I'm glad they don't know how ridiculous they look, otherwise we wouldn't get such a "mayja" laugh.

Doesn't JLo know she shouldn't sit next to that skinny ass twit? I mean, I wouldn't sit next to her! Not only does she make everyone within 5 miles of her look fat, but can you imagine how bad those chocolate frappachino enema farts smell? She doesn't eat through her mouth, ya know, cause eating through your mouth means weight gain. Better out than in, I always say.

Doesn't lil miss prissy pants look likes she's needing a "mayja" passing of air? She needs something. A meatloaf sandwich, some weave, and a good roll in the hay with that boy toy of hers.

If Victoria smiled, that frigid face of hers would crack right off and a piece of it might fly into JLo's eye. Now that would start a fight I'd pay my husband's whole paycheck to see. Two crazy ass frigid fake has been hos dukin' it out at Fashion Week! Nevermind the runways, let's get some boxing rings up in that bitch.

I know who dressed me...

Lindsay has a cute sense of style, I think. She has got one of those figures that can do no wrong-- voluptuous and fit. I like her as much dressed up as down and she's definitely one of my favorite celebrities right now.

To be honest, I wouldn't have paired anything blue with denim. Red, yes. But I've never thought to do blue. But BAM! Lindsay did it and did it well. She's one of Hollywood's Best Dressed, so I trust her.

Here's a cheap(er) version of Lindsay's sexy little denim dress with electric blue heels...

Mudshark Streetwear denim dress for $127.00 (eep! not so thrifty but oh so sexy)

The shoes are SUPER thrifty though, so you can justify the dress...

$21.80 at Forever21.com

Leighton Meester

Leighton Meester wore this sexy little Fendi dress to the Entourage premiere. We won't even talk about the price tag on that bad boy.

She's such a gorgeous, feminine lady that I think she could pull off a burlap sack. But we'll never know what she looks like in the sack, will we? She's just not the sex tape scandal kind of girl. Go on with your bad self, Leighton. Leave a little something for our imaginations...



Bubble Dress: Pinkice.com for $27.99


Snake Criss Cross Heel: GoJane.com for $23.99

Shut Up Beyonce

It never fails to amuse me when a celebrity opens their mouth. Can't they just be cute and quiet at the same time? Normally they say something that makes me even more happy to be me. Perhaps we'll never have their money, but they could never have our depth or grasp of reality. Beyonce recently went and ruined it for me with her recent comments in Marie Claire...

"There is a time limit on being a pop star, yes. Being a legend, an icon? Absolutely not. I’m over being a pop star. I don’t wanna be a hot girl. I wanna be iconic. And I feel like I’ve accomplished a lot. I feel like I’m highly respected, which is more important than any award or any amount of records. And I feel like there comes a point when being a pop star is not enough."

Huhhhh?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Dear Beyonce,

I don't know what you think you've done to change the world, or add to it, but you haven't fooled me. And you like yourself enough that you don't need the rest of us. But "iconic" or "legendary?" Pahhhh-lease, Homegirl. You can't even make it through a photo shoot without some serious thigh cropping. Girl, if you could spend half as much time feeding a child in Ethiopia with your own jeweled fingers as you do chomping on a fried chicken wing, maybe I'll take you seriously, perhaps even consider you "legendary"... Until then, Shut the hell up.

Love,

Momma Magpie

Silvery Goddess

ASOS.com helps you "scream sex" for a few dollars: $54.88 for this lovely number.

I'm going to ignore what the celebrities are wearing for the moment because I don't need their lead (and neither do you, My Friend) when it comes to finding sexy clothing. It doesn't matter if you're a an sexy apron wearing mom, a long legged executive, or a full time diva, there's some part of you that needs a sex appeal for those hours off. Here's something to get those creative, sexy fashionista juices flowing. If nothing else, wear it for your Sex God or Goddess around the house and see if he/she doesn't notice. I'm betting he or she will...

Pair it with the right shoes ($22.99 at GoJane.com) and some jewels (search "rosary" on eBay-- this one is only $7.00 with shipping).




This rosary appears gold in the picture, but it's silver...



How about some chunky yet feminine wrist wear? Here's a pretty number from a fabulous Etsy artist, Rafreiart, for only $7.00.

Upped You, Heigl

Katherine Heigl had a cute little outfit while doing errands the other day. But I think we can do it better and cheaper, if not a little dressier for a night out on the town. I borrowed the look of her top and jeans and paired them with some strappy silver heels and some gorgeous jewelry.

Jeans: $25 at OldNavy.com
Top: $17.95 at Heavenly Couture
Earrings & necklace set: $35 at LuxeDeluxe on Etsy
Heels: $21.99 at GoJane.com

One gorgeous little outfit for less than $100.

A little secret...

I'm going to tell you about a little place I like to shop that has killer deals. If you're an outlet shopper, you'll love this...

Today I visited MJRSales on ebay. They have all the Victoria's Secret markdowns you could want-- bathingsuits, sweaters, jeans, nighties, and workout clothing. What's more, you get the bid starting at .99! I know a lot of sellers on ebay start at .99, but at MJRSales, I got almost all the things I bid on with no competition from other buyers. These are last season's clothes, but that doesn't matter when we're talking about nice, high end clothes that are timeless! Some of the items have minor flaws, some are like brand new.

Here's what I bought...

A little something for winter... Will look amazing with some skinny jeans, a tank, and some heels, no?



A little something for my Tampa trip...



I got the sweater for $4.75 and the bikini top and bottom were .99 each. These items would have been about $100 total back in the Spring!

Yes, I'm proud of my smart buys. Are you clicking on that link I gave you yet?

Clip some on here, wax some off there

Rihanna

I love bangs, but I'm not brave enough to cut my hair. I'm like Sampson and can't even pronounce the words "hair cut". "Trim" or "A little bit of layering" are all I can manage to get out when my hairdresser is standing there with her shears in hand. I'd rather wear Katie's pegged jeans or drink a shot of Tom's barley juice out of a shot glass with no chaser than to cut my hair. So, for me, fake bangs are as ambitious as I can get. Damn if they aren't sexy too, eh?

Audrina Patridge

Aren't women funny? Pluck, tweeze, wax and yank hairs on one part of the body just to tape, clip, glue, or paste hair onto another part.

Jessica Simpson

Rachel Bilson

Halle is my homegirl

There are a few celebrities that can do no wrong with fashion in my eyes. Halle is one of them. She's elegant and yet stylish and youthful. Not to mention, have you seen this woman's post baby bod?

Since I can't buy Halle's bosoms and butt, I'll settle for trying to mimic her style. Here's an easy one to reproduce, and inexpensively, for those of us who make a few pennies less than Halle.

Layering brown and white tank tops from Victoria's Secret is a frugal and fashionable way to go. I bought these two pretties for $1.75 on eBay this morning. Don't be jealous of my frugal find, go get your eBay search on, Chicas...

I wanted to find a nice layered necklace, similar to the one Halle is wearing. I always search Etsy.com for jewelry first, because handmade is delicious. It wasn't made in a sweat shop in Taiwan by 3 year olds, so I can feel good about not wearing human sweat around my neck. If you buy on Etsy, you can feel good about contributing to a college, diaper, or purse addiction fund.

Here's a gorgeous layering necklace made by toolisjewelry for only $24. You can wear it long, or adjust it to layers. The possibilities are endless with this beautiful necklace, you know you'll wear it with everything.

The shirred pocket shorts are too cute, and inexpensive ($19.99) to boot. And if you wear baby vomit or toddler boogers like I do, fear not: you can bleach these bad boys. The flats ($17.99) and shorts are from GoJane.com-- one of my favorite frugal stores. GoJane is like the poor woman's Versace.